Hour 16: I NEED TO STEAL A BABY

Y’see, carrying a laptop around for videographing purposes would be highly awkward, and potentially disastrous.  So, I need to steal a baby so it can hold my laptop for me.  Plus, babies make great base units of exchange.

In the past two hours, I cleared about 50 gigs of space on my laptop, finished off my Vault, chatted with the friend who is too busy stimulating the economy to look at animal wangs, and made a list of things to do and pack.  I still feel tired, but just a dull ache, that’s only strengthened by the lack of light.  Will get better during the day.

I finally get to buy some music!  YAY!!!  So, I’m gonna do that, make a list of everything I bought, and then GO STEAL A BABY.

Hopefully, I will return by 6.  Fortunately, with DST, everything will stay darker longer, so I have an improved chance of success.

Here’s hoping this doesn’t end very badly!

Hour 2, I Mean, Hour 14: Counting Is Hard

So, the past two hours have basically consisted of me preparing to clear out space on my computer so I can record vids tomorrow without fear of using up memory, and trying to rope people into going to the zoo with me.  My Facebook status is currently:

“

Bobby Lang

wants to know if anyone wants to skip class/job/WoW to go to the zoo today. There may be babies and the stealing thereof.”

Speaking of which, that latter topic will be discussed at greater length in two hours.  Anywho, my first request to go to the zoo was denied, because apparantly one needs money to survive, and the lottery isn’t as rigged as it used to be, so now many people are turning to the unthinkable: jobs.  Or at least the searching thereof.

“Thereof” is like tax evasion: a little goes a long way, but too much spoils the soup.

Anywho, I plan to watch Heroes and Dollhouse, drink more Vault, eat some cookies, organize more files, and harass more high schoolers to go to the zoo (and/or commit Grand Theft Infant) with me.

THE GREAT EMU WAR

I shit you not.  There was, in fact, a great emu war.  AND THE EMUS WON.

Addendum: Bigger post to make up for the criminally short posts sometime between now and midnight, then an update at midnight.  The midnight update will say all I’ve done tonight, and the post within the next hour will be about rules.

Hour 2: I can do this!

Now, it probably seems a little early for me to be giving myself vain support already, but let me inform you of a couple unexpected handicaps I will be questing under:

1.  I WILL NOT BE EATING MEAT.  Granted, this wasn’t totally unexpected, as  I realized that Lent began today a couple days ago (that’s some awkward sentence construction right there), but I hadn’t had time to plan for this.  I don’t know how this will effect the successfulness of my quest, but I guess we’ll find out.

2.  I got 5.5 hours of sleep.  Trust me, I tried to sleep more.  I turned the lights out at 11, which I never do these days.  At around 12:10 I fell asleep.  And let me tell you, the dream was WEIRD.  In it, I was talking to this girl, and then she took her fingers and stuck them into that gap between your eyeball and your eye socket where the flesh of your eyelid gives way, you know?  Well, she hooked her finger into there, and pulled.  If anyone here has ever worn retainers, you’ll know what I mean when I say that it felt like she was pulling retainers off my jaw, except she was pulling at my jaw instead.  And something cracked.  Like, half of my top jawbone split off from the rest.  I woke up, totally freaked out.  And I was happy, because, yes, the dream was weird has platypus, but at least I had fallen asleep.  I looked at the clock, and it was 12:25.  Groan.

And then I woke up, of my own accord, at 5:15!  That NEVER happens!  True, I went straight back to sleep, but it’s like my body is sensing that I’m planning something that isn’t exactly the wisest or most healthful of ventures, and is trying to sabotage it.

Well, that’s about it.  Just two things.  But lack of protein and only 5 and a half hours of sleep does not bode well for this quest.

However, as stated in the title, I am confident that I can do this.  Why?  Because I saw a strangely inspiring site and the way to school today.  I was taking the 72 bus to Cascade campus, planning to then take the early morning Sylvania shuttle.  As the bus turned off of Alberta onto MLK for a few blocks before turning onto Killingsworth, I saw a high school student with one leg hopping down the street.  Granted, he had crutches, but you would think that having only one leg would entitle you to a wheelchair, not the exact same support system given to people who just badly sprain their foot.

Anywho, the young man was at about Alberta and MLK, and this impressed me greatly, because he was obviously walking to Jefferson High School, because he had a backpack on, he was high-school age, and Jefferson is the closest high scool.  Well, he could have been walking to PCC, but since they’re at the same location, basically, it doesn’t really matter.

Anyways, this impressed me because the corner of Alberta and MLK and Jefferson High School are a good distance apart, (about a mile), and so walking there with one leg is no mean feet (sorry).  Add to that the fact that he was using crutches, which are slow and exhausting, that he could have started much farther back, and that HE HAD ONLY ONE LEG.

And so, I thought to myself, “Damn, I’m hungry.”  But I also thought to myself, “Damn, if that guy can walk at least a mile to school with crutches and one leg, EVERY DAY, then I sure as hell can stay awake for 72 hours, meat or no meat, negligible amount of rest beforehand be damned!”

In other news, I have a geology test in 43 minutes, so I should probably beging reading the material and finding out what the test is actually on.  The next check in could be up to an hour late, depending on how the test goes.  DFTBA!

FLOBBERWORM MELATONIN!

Flobberworm it. Just… flobberworm it. Now, I know I’m not usually one to use profanity above a “bullshit” level, or somesuch, but this is my blog, and it’s something that I feel strongly about, so just… flobberworm it. And flobberworm melatonin. And flobberworm the schedule. This is the sort of thing that should probably come later, but I feel compelled to speak about it.

See, currently I haven’t slept since yesterday. As in, I woke up yesterday, and I find myself still awake. I would like to say that it’s because I wanted to a bit of last-minute research, but that would be a complete and utter falsehood. The true reason is twofold: firstly, because I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon yesterday, and secondly, because Chrono Trigger DS is A FLOBBERWORMIN’ GOOD GAME.

Now, the thing is, seeing as I woke up at 1:30 yesterday afternoon, and it is currently 8:30 the following morning, I have only been up for 19 hours, and have no right to complain or feel sleepy, not to mention groggy and totally brain dead. Meanwhile, my brother (presumably) got some sleep [and I just noticed that the placement of that “(presumably)” makes it sort of ambiguous, and could mean that my brother either presumably got some sleep, or the sleep was gotten, presumably by my brother… WELL I THINK IT’S INTERESTING!], and he looked even worse than I did, but he will soon feel much better, and will be more chipper for more of the day than I will.

What is the reason for all of this? One simple culprit. MELATONIN. FLOBBERWORM, FLOBBERWORM, FLOBBERWORM, FLOBBERWORM MELATONIN! Basically, melatonin is the chemical in your body that makes you sleepy when it’s dark. I have to points to make about this: firstly, that melatonin is what makes night owl shifts hell, even if you’ve just woken up, it’s what can put the most promising insomnia run to an early end; and secondly, IT’S FLOBBERWORMIN’ WEIRD.

I mean, seriously, what the flobberworm is my own flobberwormin’ body doing reacting to light photons? Am I a flobberwormin’ plant?!?! WHAT. THE. FLOBBERWORM?! And when you think about it, I mean really think about it, the whole concept makes no flobberwormin’ sense. What’s some random chemical to say that just because it’s dark I have to go flobberwormin’ beddy-boo? Why can’t I get sleepy when it’s sunny, huh? I’m a flobberwormin’ modern liberated female! No wait, let me try that again. I’m a modern flobberwormin’ liberated homo sapien… wait… I’m a ferret liberating modem flobberwormer! Oh, whatever.

So, melatonin. Flobberworm melatonin. Melatonin flobberworm. Mela flobberwormtonin.

In other news, I rented a movie I’ve been wanting to see for awhile off of iTunes : “We Are Wizards”, and I will definitely watch it and possibly put up a review of it today. Later today I will finally get around to writing that post about the rules regarding drinks. It will feature at least one rap interlude. Oh, and gotta write some aphorisms. Oooh, and class today, too. Joy.

Still, this is nowhere near the worst it’s ever been for me – in fact, I think this is going to be my shortest insomnia round yet! But “A History of Sleepy” will come later. Assuming I fall asleep 30 minutes or less after “Lost”, I will have been (will have been always seems like such an awkwardly long phrase. Like, German pornstar awkwardly long [this is just a taste of the insanity that will be revealed when the true insomnia starts]) awake for approximately 33 hours, which is nothing. But again, that’s all best left for a later date.

Speaking of which (except not at all), I’ve decided that I will censor all of the profanity, except for the “bullshit”, or course, so basically just the flobberworms… ahem. That was a convoluted sentence. Anywho, I will be basically censoring all of the flobberworms, by replacing them with the word “flobberworm”. Flobberworm is my personal favorite curse, both because it is damn fun to say, and also because it is a Harry Potter reference.

In the Harry Potter books, flobberworms are one of only two creatures to receive the Ministry of Magic classification of a single X – that is, in technical terms, “Boring”. They’re basically just large brown worms that eat lettuce. Not entirely sure why they count as magical creatures – probably have special uses in potions or some such. Ah here we go – their mucus is used as a potion thickener. Deeelightful. So, yeah, by now, you will probably understand why the word “flobberworm” is all over the place – it was originally the word “flobberworm”.

Addendum: It snowed yesterday. I noticed. Could you tell?