Hour 18: Operation: Steal A Baby Mostly Successful

So, as you can tell by the previous 11 or so posts, made from my iPod Touch (except for the one about songs, which I set to auto-update, in case something went wrong), I went and stole a baby.  However…. something went a tad bit awry in the process of transporting said baby back home.  Here’s a picture of him:

You see, I accidentally wandered into a New Age haberdashery, and there happened to be a potato salesman there… and well, anyway, little Nick suffered a bit as a result, but I’m going to gussy him up, and make him presentable to the everyday zoo-going public.

Also, we’ve hit 18 hours, which is a time I like to call The Barrier.  After this point, no matter how good I’m feeling, if I go and find a nice dark place with a comfortable bed to lie down in, I will fall asleep within seconds.  So, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

I’m gonna go pack and such, and then post when I’ve finished!

Brief Hiatus

Till, like, tomorrow. But I got the latest Percy Jackson book for 6 bucks, NEW! For some reason, Albertson’s had this random bin of books. Like, they were literally just thrown in there haphazardly, with a big sign above saying “CLEERENCE!”, I kid you not. Unfortunately, they were no longer selling February bus passes, but I got a cheap book out of it!

Also, I finally received my shipment of the 2008 Wizard Rock EP of the Month club, so I got 12 new albums (and actually 13 CD’s!) of wizard rock, so I will be reading and wrocking out today.

But tomorrow, if not later tonight, I will have the drinks post, and there will be two or three posts tomorrow! To tide you over here, I have included a photograph of myself during one of my trips to Scotland:

FLOBBERWORM MELATONIN!

Flobberworm it. Just… flobberworm it. Now, I know I’m not usually one to use profanity above a “bullshit” level, or somesuch, but this is my blog, and it’s something that I feel strongly about, so just… flobberworm it. And flobberworm melatonin. And flobberworm the schedule. This is the sort of thing that should probably come later, but I feel compelled to speak about it.

See, currently I haven’t slept since yesterday. As in, I woke up yesterday, and I find myself still awake. I would like to say that it’s because I wanted to a bit of last-minute research, but that would be a complete and utter falsehood. The true reason is twofold: firstly, because I woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon yesterday, and secondly, because Chrono Trigger DS is A FLOBBERWORMIN’ GOOD GAME.

Now, the thing is, seeing as I woke up at 1:30 yesterday afternoon, and it is currently 8:30 the following morning, I have only been up for 19 hours, and have no right to complain or feel sleepy, not to mention groggy and totally brain dead. Meanwhile, my brother (presumably) got some sleep [and I just noticed that the placement of that “(presumably)” makes it sort of ambiguous, and could mean that my brother either presumably got some sleep, or the sleep was gotten, presumably by my brother… WELL I THINK IT’S INTERESTING!], and he looked even worse than I did, but he will soon feel much better, and will be more chipper for more of the day than I will.

What is the reason for all of this? One simple culprit. MELATONIN. FLOBBERWORM, FLOBBERWORM, FLOBBERWORM, FLOBBERWORM MELATONIN! Basically, melatonin is the chemical in your body that makes you sleepy when it’s dark. I have to points to make about this: firstly, that melatonin is what makes night owl shifts hell, even if you’ve just woken up, it’s what can put the most promising insomnia run to an early end; and secondly, IT’S FLOBBERWORMIN’ WEIRD.

I mean, seriously, what the flobberworm is my own flobberwormin’ body doing reacting to light photons? Am I a flobberwormin’ plant?!?! WHAT. THE. FLOBBERWORM?! And when you think about it, I mean really think about it, the whole concept makes no flobberwormin’ sense. What’s some random chemical to say that just because it’s dark I have to go flobberwormin’ beddy-boo? Why can’t I get sleepy when it’s sunny, huh? I’m a flobberwormin’ modern liberated female! No wait, let me try that again. I’m a modern flobberwormin’ liberated homo sapien… wait… I’m a ferret liberating modem flobberwormer! Oh, whatever.

So, melatonin. Flobberworm melatonin. Melatonin flobberworm. Mela flobberwormtonin.

In other news, I rented a movie I’ve been wanting to see for awhile off of iTunes : “We Are Wizards”, and I will definitely watch it and possibly put up a review of it today. Later today I will finally get around to writing that post about the rules regarding drinks. It will feature at least one rap interlude. Oh, and gotta write some aphorisms. Oooh, and class today, too. Joy.

Still, this is nowhere near the worst it’s ever been for me – in fact, I think this is going to be my shortest insomnia round yet! But “A History of Sleepy” will come later. Assuming I fall asleep 30 minutes or less after “Lost”, I will have been (will have been always seems like such an awkwardly long phrase. Like, German pornstar awkwardly long [this is just a taste of the insanity that will be revealed when the true insomnia starts]) awake for approximately 33 hours, which is nothing. But again, that’s all best left for a later date.

Speaking of which (except not at all), I’ve decided that I will censor all of the profanity, except for the “bullshit”, or course, so basically just the flobberworms… ahem. That was a convoluted sentence. Anywho, I will be basically censoring all of the flobberworms, by replacing them with the word “flobberworm”. Flobberworm is my personal favorite curse, both because it is damn fun to say, and also because it is a Harry Potter reference.

In the Harry Potter books, flobberworms are one of only two creatures to receive the Ministry of Magic classification of a single X – that is, in technical terms, “Boring”. They’re basically just large brown worms that eat lettuce. Not entirely sure why they count as magical creatures – probably have special uses in potions or some such. Ah here we go – their mucus is used as a potion thickener. Deeelightful. So, yeah, by now, you will probably understand why the word “flobberworm” is all over the place – it was originally the word “flobberworm”.

Addendum: It snowed yesterday. I noticed. Could you tell?

Why There’s Been A Drought Of Posts

Actually, before I clear that up, there’s something I don’t understand.  In “drought” the gh is silent.  Yet, in “draught” the gh turns into an f.  Why?  How does adding or taking away an “o” make that much of a difference?!?  I’m so distressed I’m using multiple pieces of punctuation!!!!!!!!!! (the sure sign of an insane mind)

But the reason why I have been so lacking is this:

Well, not that specifically.  That was me at the Portland Freeze, where roughly six to seven hundred people showed up and and descended upon “Portland’s Playground” as channel 8 keeps calling it, and held the same position for 5 minutes.  My position was yelling at my Nintendo DS, but over time, my jaws started to really hurt, so I got more of a zoned out look than an enraged one.  But still.

Anywho, the real reason why I haven’t been posting is this:

HOLYBALLSTHISGAMEISGOOD

As the caption says, HOLY BALLS THIS GAME IS GOOD.  It takes everything you would hate about JRPG’s – the random battles, the turn based combat, and either throws it out the window or tweaks into something that is still amazingly fresh today – mostly because no one seems to have learned from it.  Instead of strictly turned based combat, each character has a “timer”, which fills up depending on their speed stat, and when the timer is full, they get to make a move.  But you have to be quick in making decisions, because enemies have timers too, and won’t hesitate to attack.

Also, the story and writing is (are?) impeccable (which is a tad confusing word – the story can’t be pecked?  Why would birds be trying to eat a video game’s story anyways?), and it has an update translation over the original, some new fully animated cutscenes, and some other extras.  Also, one of the best scores in all of video game history.

However, my procurement of this videoelectronic game from a local entertainment reseller does not spell all doom and gloom, mostly because it is an inanimate object, and thus, it doesn’t have a mother, and thus, no one ever taught it the alphabet song.  It’s a very sad story.

Ahem.  Anywho.  The silver lining of this game is that this is another weapon I can use in my fight against insomnia, which I believe may happen next week.  Speaking of which, sometime later today I’ll have up a schedule for the next few posts, so I can hopefully post more often, and possibly yet another post, a “real” one, probably explaining the rules surrounding liquids and the drinking thereof.

Addendum: You probably can’t tell it from the pictures, but the day of the Portland Freeze was also the first day it snowed this winter.  That means two things – first, that the Freeze caused a true freeze, which I find mildly humorous, and second, IT WAS REALLY FLOBBERWORMIN’ COLD.

Da Rules: Music: Caramelldansen

If you do not remember, Caramelldansen is a song made by some Swedish Eurodance group.  It became famous through the following looped animation set to the chorus (which was also looped):

This song is just so… high energy, that I am placing a further restriction on it, in addition to the fact that it is in the Insomnia Playlist.  The restriction is thus: For every 24 hours, I can only spend 2 of them listening to Caramelldansen (speedycake remix, by the way).  Now, that might seem like a lot, but the song is almost 3 minutes long, and so that becomes only about 42 listens.

So…. yeah.  I don’t have too much else to say.  Ooh!  I do have something I could share – I got SOCKS!  They’re blue, and have lightning bolts on them, and they remind me of socks that Dobby would make!  Awesome!  Oh, and here’s another video, but this time with the entire song, not just the chorus.  Same blasted animation, though.  Oh, and that is apparently an actual dance.  People have filmed themselves dancing to that song whilst doing that dance, and put it up on youtube.  Anywho:

Addendum: Please do not judge this blog based on the AMV’s in this post.  This blog is really much cooler than that.  It has Harry Potter references!  And breasts! (See top right corner)

Da Rules: Music: 2 Unlimited – Green Day

“Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!”
-Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

Time for the first post explaining the rules!  First off, we’re going to tackle the issue of music.  Music has long been recognized as a key weapon in the fight against sleep, and as such, I’m going to set a “budget” of time for me to listen to certain songs.  You see, it’s not enough to just stay up for 72 straight hours.  Any fool with loud enough music, bright lights, and some surgical needles can do that.  I want to make it challenging.

So, I have compiled a playlist (entitled “Insomnia”) of the bounciest, danciest songs that I have.  For every 24 hours, I can only spend 8 hours listening to the songs on that playlist.  I will compute this by resetting the play counts for all the songs at the very beginning of my sojourn, and then resetting it again every 24 hours.  After the 8 hours are used up, I can only listen to music from another playlist (entitled “Limit Break” – it’s a Final Fantasy pun/reference) until I’ve hit the next day.

So, for your reading pleasure, I have typed up that list of songs, and appended to each a quick note of explanation, or some such.  Also, please note that titles in quotation marks are song titles.  Title in italics are album titles, and thus, all songs in that album are part of the playlist.  Also, some entries have relevant links in them, so be on the lookout for that.

She’s watching… always… watching…

So, yeah, this blog now contains girls.  Sweeeeeet.  Also, she’s green.  Not entirely sure why.  Maybe one of her parents was a cucumber and the other was a Slytherin.

Also, it should be made clear that while the main focus of this blog is the chronicling of my struggle against my addiction to sleep, there may be some posts, such as this one, that lean more towards the “farce” side of things, then the “dangerous melatonin-related marathons/experiments” side of things.

 

Addendum:  An alternate title for this post was “Farce Blogica – Now Contains Breasts!”